Replying all tags...

Eleen: Happy new year too! Ok, now it's happy CHINESE new year. Yes, I know, I'm freaking late.

Cinders: Once again, happy new year. Happy CHINESE new year.

Weixiang: Ya la, link you already. Happy CHINESE new year.

Serene: Yep. You have a great time too at HC!! Happy CHINESE new year.

Sharon: OF COURSE I will. Haha don't worry. JC is naturally fun.

Nutcase: 5?? I want to see! Oh man, I want to go back again. I went back on cny celecrations day but I didn't see you! Don't worry, I'll be back.

Hmmmm thats all. Yikes. My cny greetings sound so fake and insincere. "So? Sue me." -- Sabam. That's what she would say. And what I would too.

It's New Year's Eve now. Xiaoxiao, her fren, Leo, and my uncle have just left. Not a bad socialising experience. Listening to Leo talk about his NS stuff. Makes me wanna join NS too. Moreover there's pay! Suddenly the prospects of being a high-ranking girl soldier are very tempting. I think I'm quite fond of military life. It sounds fun. The discipline, the togetherness and the camp-like atmosphere. And the uniform. Gosh I just love military uniforms. Espeicially the West Point ones. Some cadets from West Point military academy appeared on the cover of a Times issue. That immediately became my favourite issue of all. Once again, I love West Point uniform.

My brother has started FF8 again. After he completed it the first time. Curses. And I'm still stalling at the part before I crash into Lunatic Pandora in Disc 3. Dear Rachel Lee. Please return my Disc 3 and 4!!!!

Found some totally true quotes in Bash.

"Its ironic how a flow of blood to the lower regions is only pleasureable to the man."

Damn right. I hate hong-hong.

"I'm pisexual. I am attracted to 22/7 different sexes."

Am I?

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New Layout

Finally, I have a new layout. Got quite sick of Cloud and his sunglasses. Now, the character is Yuna, from Final Fantasy X-2. The one I was "advertising" last week. I love her legs. And her guns. And her costume. Though I don't think many would want to attempt cosplaying as her.

I quite like my layout. The colour scheme is brilliant and I like the way she manipulated the Yuna picture. Opacity wise, it's not that alright. My pictures don't look good with this opacity. So everyone, if you want to see the pictures I put up properly, please don't be lazy and click on them.

Realized the words are v small. I shall write in normal size this time then.

I spent the whole of today cleaning up my room. There was so much dust accumulated behind the computer table. I almost got smuffled to death by them.

Went to walk around Westmall after eating breakfast with Sihui and Smint today. Was looking for shoelaces but couldn't find any of the right color that fits my new shoes. Ambled around aimlessly before I decided to look for and purchase a bottle of Impluse: ICO deodorant. Celest has the ICO one and Sihui and I have the Merely Musk one. I always wanted an ice scented deodorant but all I could find were guys' one. Which totally labels me as butch if I go out wearing it. But this Impulse one is special. It's ice scented, but still has a tinge of the feminine flavour. You have to smell it to know. It's subtle, but there.

There's another scent of Impulse, which I saw today with the ICO one, called Alive. It's very nice! Like a mix between ice and something else. Too bad there was only one bottle left and that bottle has half the weight of my ICO. Obviously someone has taken advantage of it. The next time a new stock comes, I'm going to purchase it.

Realised that I'm very into scent and fragrance these days. Guess I have a sensitive nose. Remembered there was one day at Mrs Soh's when Lynette came. She sat beside me and I could smell the taxi smell, and a small tinge of indian soap smell. So I asked her whether she took a taxi here, and the driver is indian. She said yes.

Results are confirmed coming out on 6-10 Feb. The excitement is getting higher and the fear is mounting everyday. I would be very happy if I get less than 10. At least I would go to NJ. But I dare not think about it. I dunno. I don't wanna think about it. Dont think about it. Dont think about it.

It's really late now. Have to get up early tomorrow. Guests coming over. Xiaoxiao, her friend and my sec 4 uncle. Weird combination. Totally dunno how to mix them and socialise them tmr. Party girls with a nerd. How's that gonna work out?
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Sabam's Quizzes.

I think the accurate english is having a desired effect on my blog. You see, when you read my blog, the starting of the sentences don't come very clearly, beacuse of the teeny weeny almost invisible full-stops, making it hard for people to read. Capital letters at the start of the sentence really helps my phrasing. Great.

Been reading Sabam's blog. Seen some interesting quizzes that I think, are seldomly found in Singapore. Check this out.

Sorry Sabam, for stealing this from you.
--------------------------------------------

Ultimate survey of 2005. past, present, future, and everything random!
Basics
Time::	1140.
Name::	[redacted]
Nickname(s)::	Zac-Jay, Jing, Ah Zhuo, Datou.
Favorite nickname::	Zac-Jay sounds good to me.
Age::	16 +++
Age you act::	It varies from day to day.
Age you wish you could be::	18.
Height::	162cm.
Weight::	58kg. Gosh I'm really fat.
Shoe size::	6 and 1/2. Somewhere there.
Siblings::	A totally annoying brother. Wish I had none.
Pets::	Used to have. Now all gone.
Living situation::	Parents.
Location::	Singapore.
Childhood past and General past
Favorite toy::	PS 1/2. Xbox.
How did you dress?:	Like a guy.
Preschool::	PAP, and YWCA.
What age did you stop using the bottle?:	Two? Or something like that.
Did you prefer playing indoors or outdoors?:	I liked both. Don't really remember my preference.
Did you have an immaginary friends?:	No. Can't stand them.
First pet::	A fish. Didn't bother to name it.
What did you want to be when you grew up?:	Wanted to be lots of stuff. Anchorwoman, environmentalist, actor, soldier...
Do you still want to be that?:	Hell no.
(assuming you do) did you always have your own room?:	No. I'm deprived of basic living neccesities.
Did you ever ask a fat lady how long she'd been pregnant for?:	I'm still alive, aren't I?
What age did you learn to read and write?:	About 3 I think.
Were you quiet or nosy?:	Quiet. Definitely quiet.
What was your favorite story book?:	The Pig with Green Spots by Enid Blyton.
Second favorite?:	The Enchanted Bellower by Enid Blyton.
Third favorite?:	I don't know but I'm seeing a pattern already.
Sum yourself up as a kid.:	Quiet but not shy. I was pretty dao1 as a kid. Seldom smiled.
Who was your first best friend?:	Didn't have one. I was a loner.
How old were you when you had your first birthday party?:	Ten?
Where was it?:	My house.
What was your earliest bedtime?:	8:30 p.m., probably.
When did you learn to ride a bike?:	Must've been ... six or seven.
Were you immaginative?:	I wouldn't say that.
Did you play with gender appropriate toys?:	Nope.
Did you play with age appropriate toys?:	Does books count as age appropriate?
What was your favorite stuffed animal?:	Oh please, don't get me started. My panda, monkey, pillow...
How many barbies did you have?:	Loads ... but I have never played with them. Their hair entangles too easily.
Did you have carebears?:	Nope.
Ninja turtles?:	Micheangelo. And their crazy truck.
That creepy bear that reads books?:	The who?
Did you like to climb trees?:	Wasn't physically orientated.
Throw tantrums?:	Silent ones.
Was it hard to sleep, or did you sleep like a baby?:	Like a baby. Duh, I am one?
Did you go to the zoo?:	It stinks there.
Did you scream a lot?:	Never.
Did you ever go to an amusement park?:	Yeah. Lots of times. I loved bumber cars.
When and where was your first kiss?:	Don't think there was one.
Kissed someone of the opposite sex?:	Yeah. Cheeks.
Kissed someone of the same sex?:	Does cheeks count?
how many total goldfish have you collectively owned?:	They are numerous in their journey to the otherworld.
As a kid, what was the best thing ever?:	Everyone fussing over you. Espeicially Grandparents.
The worst?:	Grandparents leaving.
What was the best year of your life?:	I don't know.
Generally, in the past, have you ever:
Ran away from home?:	Not really.
Snuck out?:	It doesn't really count as "sneaking out" if I blantantly tell my parents, "I'm going out - you can't stop me."
Wished on a star?:	Don't even see one these days.
Danced in the rain?:	Yes. It was enjoyable.
Been to an unsupervised party?:	Not yet.
Been drunk?:	Yeah.
Smoked?:	A little.
Been beaten up?:	Nope.
Been depressed?:	Of course. (duh)
Been lonely?:	Who hasn't?
Been afraid of the dark?:	Yes. And the scary ghosts that come along with it.
Cut your own hair?:	Yes. Disastrous attempt.
Stayed up all night?:	Yeah. Man, I'm not doing that one often again.
Gone streaking?:	Wazzat?
Gone skinny dipping?:	Nope.
Played strip poker?:	No.
Been on a roof?:	Yeah.
Been in a trash can?:	Er... no.
Egged somebodies house?:	Nope.
Teepeed someones house?:	Done WHAT?
Cheated on a guy / girl?:	Eh. No.
Cheated on a test?:	Yes. But they made me.
Set something on fire on purpose?:	It was an accident! ...Ok fine. It was a purposeful accident.
Set something on fire accidentally?:	See above.
Eaten squid?:	Yes.
Eaten sushi?:	Yes. Wonderful creation by Japs.
Had a cell phone?:	Yes.
Had a computer?:	Yes.
Had an ipod / mp2 player?:	No, but I've had an MP3 player. Idiot.
Broken a light bulb?:	I believe I will someday. Eventually.
Cruised the streets past 3 AM?:	Does doing it on a skateboard count?
Did a prank call?:	Yes! It's something everyone should try.
Gone to school with a hangover?:	No.
Been in love?:	Ye-No.
Sworn at your parents?:	Yes.
Regretted something you did?:	Lots of times.
Regretted something you should have done but never did?:	Yes.
Lied to your parents?:	Yes. I beg for forgiveness.
Lied to your friends?:	Yes.
Currently:
Are you a lucky person?:	I don't believe in luck.
Are you a happy person?:	Not currently.
Are you a virgin?:	Haha, funny.
What are you wearing?:	shirt and shorts? What are YOU wearing?
What did you have for breakfast?:	Eggs. With mayo. And milo.
What kind of socks do you wear?:	Ankle socks.
What are your most comfortable shoes?:	My Filas. Not forgetting my purply blue Converse. I love them.
Are you doing well in school?:	Pretty ok. Catching up. Not ahead.
Do you have a lot of friends?:	I guess so. Do I?
Are you happy with them?:	Of course. If not they won't be my friends.
Past of 2005:
Did 2005 treat you well?:	Yes, and No.
Did it go by fast, slow, or at just the right pace?:	Not the pace I liked it to.
Approximately how many parties did you go to?:	0. Nil.
What was your biggest acheivement this year?:	Screwing up my prelims and Os. Oh, and SYF too.
Did you change over 2005?:	Quite a bit.
Did your hairstyle change?:	I guess yes. Sacked her after that happened.
How much taller did you get from last year?:	I shrunk and grew and shrunk and grew again. Hurray.
Did you make new friends?:	Yes.
Did you lose any old friends?:	Yes.
Did you try new things?:	Teehee ...
Go places you've never been?:	Does different schools consider as places I've never been to?
Do things you've never done?:	Hmmm, yes. Put on make-up for example.
Things you never thought you would do?:	See the above.
Have fun?:	Would you?
What do you miss most about 2005?:	My friends.
If you could choose one thing to completely undo, what would it be?:	Prelims and Os. And SYF.
If you could choose one thing to redo (fix) what would it be?:	Work harder? Sooner? Maybe not.
If you could choose one thing to relive, what would it be?:	Everything. Except the studying parts.
Did 2005 have a big impact on your life?:	All years do.
Do you think 2006 will be better?:	Hope and think are different things.
Was 2005 special?:	Every year is special. That makes them not special.
Was it the best year for you?:	No.
Future, mainly 2006
Have you made a resolution?:	Er. Yes. See previous blog post.
What's one thing you will do differently in 2006?:	I dunno. Be acadamically orientated I guess.
What are your goals?:	I dunno.
Do you feel fullfilled?:	Nope.
Are you going to learn something new from 2006?:	I already did.
What's one place you want to go?:	Europe. USA. Japan. Russia. Taiwan ... did you say one?
What's the main thing you want out of 2006?:	Whatever.
Back to this past year, have you bee..
Naughty or Nice?:	I've been quite the asshole. But I have nice times.
Happy or Sad?:	Mostly sad. Depressed really. And angry.
Dull or Interesting?:	I'm an interesting person!
Boring or Fun?:	I'm a FUN, interesting person! Right?
Cray or Normal?:	Cray? Like what ... ? Like ... CRAYon?
Wild or Calm?:	Pretty calm. With wild streaks.
Mean or Kind?:	Mean. I'm a bitch.
Caring?:	Not really.
Carefree?:	You try doing that with mountains of stress piled up upon you.
Careless?:	Sure.
Careful?:	Ah~~. See the above.
Loud or Silent?:	How can I ever be silent?
Smart or Stupid?:	I'd love to say smart. But I think I'll go with the truth.
Last but not least..
Nine things you won't be able to live without. Go.
1.:	Family.
2.:	Friends. Some.
3.:	God.
4.:	Music.
5.:	Sports.
6.:	Some literature.
7.:	Money!
8.:	The broadband.

---------------------------------------------

Pretty random. But interesting don't you think? *silence* Ok fine. Whatever. Next.

--------------------------------------------


B/A/S/I/C/S/
x What is your first name?: [redacted]
x What is your middle initial: Z.
x What is your zodiac sign?: Aries.

/L/O/O/K/ /A/T/ /M/E/
x What's your natural hair color?: Black.
x What is your current hair color?: Black. With some brown locks in front. And few strands of orange.
x What color are your eyes?: Dark chocolate.
x Piercings?: None.
x Tattoos?: None.
x Long or Short Hair?: Short.
x Straight or Curly?: Straight.
x How tall are you?: 162cm
x Whats your shoe size?: 6 1/2. Somewhere there. (deja vu?)

/C/U/R/R/E/N/T/L/Y/ W/E/A/R/I/N/G
x What shirt are you wearing?: P.E tee.
x What kind of shorts/pants/ are you wearing?: FBT shorts.
x Socks?: None.
x.Shoes? None.
x Necklaces?: The fang.
x Bracelets?: A watch?
x Mascara?: Nope.
x Eyeliner?: No.
x Any other make up?: No again.
x Is your hair up or down?: Down. (Can it ever be up in the first place?)

/T/H/I/S/ O/R/ /T/H/A/T/
x Rock or Rap: Currently rock.
x Coffee or Hot Cocoa: Hot cocoa.
x Baseball or Softball: Softball.
x Wild Night out or Romantic Night in?: Depends on my mood.
x chocolate or vanilla: Vanilla.
x Hummer or Sports Car: Sports Car.
x Guys or Girls: Both.
x Bracelet or Necklace: Both.
x Pink or Purple: Purple.
x History or Science: History.
x Sleep in or Early to rise: Sleep in.
x Beach or Boardwalk: Again, depends on my mood.
x Hoodie or Tee Shirt: Tee shirt.
x Night Or Day: Night.
x High School or College: College.
x White or Black: Black.
x Love or Fun: Why not both?
x California or Florida: California.
X Love at first sight or learn to love: Don't know.

/T/H/E/ L/A/S/T/
x person you talked to in person?: Dad.
x person you talked to online?: My dear cousin.
x person you talked to on the phone?: Chienru.
x person you hugged?: Wow I don't remember. Was it Yixi?
x movie you saw in the theaters?: King Kong.
x thing you ate?: Eggs with mayo.
x drank?: Milo.
x laugh?: Last night.
x cry?: Last night.

/R/A/N/D/O/M/
x Do you like surveys?: It gets boring after a while. Like the one I'm doing.
x What kind of shampoo do you use?: Pantene?
x Are you scared of what life will be like in 10 years?: PARANOID.
x Do you get along with your parents?: Yeah.
x Are you old enough to vote?: No.
x Are you happy?: Right now? Not really.
x Are you sad?: Quite.
x Do you have mental breakdowns?: Yeah. Not so much now though.

-------------------------------------------

I am getting bored. They all ask the same stuff. My Filas just gave up on me after hockey yesterday. The sides of my heels are falling out. I think it's because of the way my foot applies pressure on the shoe. Going to buy shoes now. I think I'm getting either an Addidas or Nike. Addidas more likely. Never tried it before.Suddenly, I find that I have a great interest in FFX and FFX-2 now. Desperately desperatly want to play them. Desperately. REALLY! Was downloading the movies from FFX yesterday and something weird happened. My downloading speed was decreasing with increasing acceleration. At first it was 512kb/s, then 400 something and quickly decreased to 2.9kb/s. 2.9???! That's ridiculous. I'm using the freaking broadband for goodness sakes. The download time needed was 4 hours for a hundread over mb file. What rubbish. I'm going to call Singtel and complain.

Anyway, there's my current wallpaper: artwork from FFX-2.

Pretty hot girls? Let me introduce. These are the main characters from FFX-2, the sequel of FFX. The left one is called Rikku, the centre one is Yuna, and the right one is Paine. Currently, I am fascinated by FFX-2 graphics. Here's others (none artwork -- as it appears in the game).




Woo~ all hot babes. Everyone, please click on them and look at the enlarged version. They look even more gorgeous. OMG. Am I turning les again?

Trying hard not to laugh now. The Shemale thingy just popped up in my head. It was during farewell. Wore the Giodano (sp?) yellow and white long sleeved and my cowboy pants. The shirt made my shoulders look super broad and my back super chaffed (is that the right word?). My pants made me look like a guy, as usual. So from the back I look like a guy. But from the front, I look like a shemale. Why?

"[redacted], OMG, you look like a guy with boobs! SHEMALE!!!" -- Eleen Khoo.

What. The. Heck.

I totally do not. Maybe a little. Ok. FINE. A lot. Bah. All right all right, I have an abundant supply of guy hormones. Happy?

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Resolutions.

I have a challenging resolution in a fleeting attempt to improve my pathetic english. Everything I type in my blog is not allowed to be in short forms, must have correct punctuation, and capital letters when needed. It would also be good if there is good grammar, fascinating vocab and no singlish present. Challenging. Come, everyone should try it. Let's see who survives the longest. Though this certainly is a waste of time. This idea came to me when reading Sabam's blog. Accurate english please.

Today I had hockey training. There were many new people and we played a few matches. Realised that I was most comfortable in the midfield-attack position, though I was running around all the time from attack to defence. The captain split us up into two groups at the end of it. My group had eight people and were so called the better ones. That is certainly not true at all. The Bikila shirt girl and Qiuhui are both much better than me. Zhixin and I tried to talk to the captain about it but nothing came out in the end. I felt really bad, so did Joycelynn.

Don't even know whether I want to join hockey or not. It's a 3rd category sport (but really fun!) in JJ, and I only like the captain there. Not even the coach. Not really fond of the other seniors too. They were too slack for me. Didn't really like the people there except for the ones I know. Now, I have to get shinpads by next training, which is on wednesday. It clashes with my shooting, if I can miraculously pass the 3RD round (which I think I won't stand a chance). Shot really badly during the second trials. Don't even know how the hell I got in. Definitely not by my ridicoulous shooting.

Forgot to add that the agreed buget on the shinpads is about twenty bucks. Have to get it in secret though.

Now that I'm so called selected for hockey, what will happen to touch rug? I have minute hopes in shooting now. Touch rug is pretty fun (though I hate to run about), the people there are nicer than hockey (their boobs flater too), the coach is better (much friendler). Should I continue to go for touch training (and hang out with Mira, Ras, Nabila, Nadiah)? Or should I just not turn up?

Already feel really bad about band. Felt like I betrayed them or something.

Made the decision not to go back to taekwondo anymore. It's so sian there. The patterns are not interesting at all and the senoirs there crap a lot about unrelated stuff (OGL guy!). Prefer wushu. Speaking of wushu, when am I going to start it again? They probably already gone really far without me. I'm always talking about going back, but when Friday comes, I don't feel like it or something comes up.

For example today. Hockey ended at 7.30pm. After that, I was stalling and just hanging around with Bryan, Sihui, Zhixin, Joycelynn and some guy called Nicholas. Long story short, there was a disagreement (i think) about going to JEC or Westmall, beacause Sihui and Zhixin going to pool at JEC. I think Sihui got angry. Not sure. But she was whispering with Joycelynn at the bus stop, leaving me and Zhixin out. So, me and Zhixin had a conversation about lesbianism. Realised some surprising, unexpected news.

Oh, at the bus stop, this 157 stopped by. I didn't know that 157 stops there. Insisted that it went to Westmall when it actually did not. Was so embarrased there. Didn't even know where my own bus goes. But it really was confusing. How can 174 go this way and 157 go the other?

On the bus, called Mom. She was angry that I went for hockey. After ending the call, I was pretty pissed as well. And somewhat depressed. Thought a lot about the going out thingy and the nerd thingy. The more I thought, the more I wanted to cry. And I did. Relieved that nobody saw me, but come to think about it now, no one really noticed and it dosen't really matter. Then Chienru called, updating me about her fascinating love life. Seems that there occured some misunderstandings between her and fcuk. Not going for F6 outing tommorrow but meeting S.H.E at JEC for updates.

We've gotten to be really good friends now. I don't know why. I guess we really are S.H.E. Of course, I'm Ella. Chienru is Hebe, and Melissa is Selena. Quite compatible. We trust each other, and like to hang out together a lot. Inseperable. Don' really know how to describe it, but we're really good friends.

--------------------------------------------------------------

Next topic -- OG outing.

Had OG outing on Wednesday, at JP. Most turned up, with the exclusion of Ani, Pradeep, Sijia, Swiss Cottage and the other CTS person (sorry!). Had a really fun time, though I only talked to people on my table. Guess this was the last OG outing I am going to. We're going to split real soon, and I'm just sorry we didn't bond more. Ate a nice slice of pizza, and a hot bowl of CHICKEN soup (of which some I spilled because of Melissa), and paid $7.50 for that. Cheap isn't it? I had to eat chicken wedges the rest of this week because I spent everything there. Great.

The surprisingly gossipy Jiazhen. David and his you-know-you-know. The shy but nice FCUK aka RongQing. Bryan and Yuko. Xiling (ceiling?)'s bdae! With her bdae cake and nice sundae. Joanne still with lame lame jokes. Chendi and his big mouth (in a positive way). The always quiet Yueyun. Minghor aka Horfun the waiter that decided everything for us. Johanathan and his alleged gay relationship with Bryan. Mingxi that had a crush on the physics teacher! Commonwealth guys that were, like normal, quite quiet. Chienru and her ever interesting love-life that everyone was interested about. Clumsy Melissa that made me spill my soup and still didn't seem to know anything about it.

It was fun. All the juicy gossip and interesting theories (all proven wrong! well, almost all...) and the fun of it pushing Chienru to FCUK all the time. Sorry if we made you angry, but it was inevitable that night (planned!).

There's still interesting things happening that I'm too lazy to blog.

It's really tiring typing everything in accurate english. But I must preservere.

Yawns. Really tired now. Gotta sleep. Guess I'll do Sabam's quizzes another day then.

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issues at hand.

it's such a long time since i blogged here. lets see. about half a month? shucks. was just reading sabam's journal. turns out my writing style is going to be a bit affected by her. found out that my blog looks different when viewed from mozilla and internet explorer. didn't noe that. big discovery. its much harder to view my blog for those with IE. my apologies. i use mozilla.

lets start from the beginning shall we?

the last time i blogged was before christmas. after rach's house. right. so many things happened after that that i cant even remember. gosh. great. all i remember now is the most recent memories -- going to JJC, orientation, orientation camp, and my first week of lessons. plus whatever interesting events that are cramped in between. for example, theory B and theory D. scratch that. i have enough evidence to make them law B and law D. though more on the B than the D side. dont understand? good. you're not supposed to.

by the way, did i mention that im a jerk?

ok soooooooo. JJC. erm, orientation was pretty ok. got some really enthu OGLs cheering. loved the cheers. seemed so neat and fresh to me when i first heard them. i guess cheers do grow old. was in F6 -- family 6. and og 29. my OGLs are bryan the nice guy. johnathan the wonderful game master. joanne the fellow jay chou fan. and xiling the really really nice and best ogl. they're not the v active active kind, nor the funny kind but they really the best. at first i didnt like them much but later i cherished them like hell and grew to love them. they made me wanna be an ogl.
my og was ok. quieter than the rest. made 2 close friends there. still stick with them now through me lessons. melissa the water girl and chien ru the toilet girl. we're 3 different kinds of ppl i guess but we get along pretty well. my best friends in jjc currently. melissa's in the same course and class as me. chien ru is in the smart course. and she still wants to go poly. please shake youself girl!

honestly, i still dunno all the names of the guys in my grp. for example PAP and fcuk. take a while to connect their names with them. sorry, i just suck at this.

one thing i loved about jj is their mass dance. 10 of them. its really dancing heaven during orientation camp. mass dance every morn. the partners i had were pretty all right. better than some guys from other sch (note: singular). AH-HEM. yes. i made my point. sorry partners if i stepped on your foot and caused an indescribable amount of pain (sorry, im a fat bitch). its supposed to be the other way round. ~~oh my darling i love you~~ love that song. sorry guy whom sihui was dancing to before i interrupted, whoever you are. but this dance i must dance with my part time stead.

orientation camp was good. just like a camp is supposed to be. not my most enjoyable one and not my least. ive got friends and great ogls. what more could i want. a single suggestion though. the bathing facilities sucked. i had to bath in an open washroom (ie, outside the stalls) freezing to death while praying that no one bursts through the door and faints upon my naked self. thanks joanne!

than came the mass lectures. attended all of them with melissa and chien ru. they were all right. chem phy and maths lecturers were all good. the econs and chinese one suck. i fell asleep. i guess a science course is all right for me. its definitely not where my passion lies but i have to take this path. its of course not my choice. the dictators forced me to take it and then after they thought it through, it finally occured to them that maybe it was not the best decision. for my future and my passion. great. hurray. currently considering whether to switch to an art course or not. guess ill wait and see then.

note: guys are so freeking clever. they can grasp the mathematical and scientific concepts so quickly and easily (look at pradeep!) while us girls are still struggling to understand and asking what the hell is going on. its just so unfair. no wonder people always say that girls should just stick to the arts. i get their point. completely. times like these makes me totally wanna become a guy again. reminds me of why i wanted to become a guy in the first place.

the rubbish thing about jj is that they have so little ccas. no canoeing. no wushu. so little performing arts. what the hell is wrong? worse still. a new synthetic feild with NO GIRL'S SOCCER. outrageous. that totally sucks. i don think i wanna join band anymore. because of various reasons. one, i lost it. again. two, not really fond of jj band. three, it would be totally wise to try other things. so i put my name down for millions of ccas. ok. not million. 7. nice number. band, taekwando, touch rug, hockey, r&d (don't ask.), shooting, and erm. i forgot. later.

regretted not wanting to join bball. it would be benefitial if i joined it. really benefitial. to glory team and myself. dunno what i was thinking. went for shooting tryouts. good thing we tried early. the queue just got longer and longer after that. rifle was heavy at first but i managed. weird guy telling me instructions. sneaking suspiscion he's thai. shot 8 out of 10 targets into the black hole. not bad but if everyone shoots like that my chances of joining the cca is equals to nil. results are going to be out on mon or tue. wish me luck.

hockey is fun. basically cos its a new sport. and new things are always fun. in my eyes. the team didnt really appeal to me. but the sport did. went for trng and met sihui. sihui the sought after ny girl in jj who has been my schoolmate for the past 10 yrs. and met her nice friends. paperheart and joycelynn. played a game in the rain. really enjoyable though my stick only touched the ball about 2 times. after that they went to crash hc campfire. i didnt. being the nerd and obedient kid that i promised to be, i returned home. but bryan the chs said it was boring. if you say so. i still missed a chance to catch up with friends. but mom is right in a sense. what have i to catch up with them if i dont go there in the end?

that brings me to this weekend. me, the unintended nerd, has been studying the whole of today. got myself a graphic calculator since maths is an element of my life i cant escape from. i accept. and surrender whole heartedly. yes i do. dont see what the big deal in that calculator. its just graphy. i prefer my old one.

ah guess im the weird one after all. the most interesting and appealing subject to me now is gp. yes, the big scary hulk of a monster. gp. scold me. stone me. wadever. i think its cool.

its pretty late now. and i have church tmr morn. with bball in the afternoon. mom objects the fact that im joining the team. she dosent want me to be in it. but i cant just quit like that. i cant. even if i had to, how could/would i break the news? its irritating. this thing has been bothering me since last week. after the big argument over this and lots of other things i cant do now. cant play cant go out cant do this cant do that. if im not going to do this now, when the hell am i supposed to do all these and enjoy the last of my teenage life. i seriously don have a life. seriously. and you cant stop me from going to church. im not going to grow old and remark on my past life, about how boring it is and regret. i am not. i refuse to do that. conflicting. confusing. contradicting. everything's jumbled together. hate it. HATE IT.

and in the end, i still havent found out how much is a JC concession pass gonna cost.

is studying going to be the centre of my life for the first 3 months? am i going to allow that to happen? but i made a promise. and i shall and will abide to it. honouring them.

its 0030 now. just finished clearing up my study room today. took one month to accomplish that since o levels. i still have unsent christmas cards on my table. i still have unfinished notes to read. i still have an unfinished life to live. am i going to regret so early in it? am i supposed to? am i willing to do so? am i going to finish it?
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