Rafflesian

Rafflesian. Pronounced reh-flee-shian, contrary to popular pronounciation.

My parents are watching Brokeback Mountain now. It sounds violent from my room. Am I hearing the fighting parts or the sex scenes?

Current state of mind: so freaking stressed up. I'm soo soo behind everyone in my class. So behind. I only feel unlost in maths and maybe econs. Compared to RJ curriculum speed, JJ is a snail. A very old snail. And RJ teachers are not v helpful also. The only friendly departments are econs and chem. At least they provide you with notes. Physics and Maths just asks you to get someone's notes and photocopy yourselves. And TOTALLY NIL make up lessons during holidays. Every department seems to be having them only in term 2. WHAT RUBBISH. HC has already started la! An utter waste of our time. It sux to be in the minority.

I feel extra in my OG and class. Everyone there has already had a certain degree of bonding except for me. In my class it's better cos I have Cheryl around, who is really a very good friend. But we still feel so extra. The RG and RI feeling is everywhere. In they faces, in their speech and their attitude. It's not that it's not good. But I guess I'm just not used to it. And I hope that as time goes by, I'll bond with them more and really integrate into the class. And find their frequency.

I miss JJ. Everything was so funny and rubbishy there. That's why it was fun I guess. Really miss it.

I miss HC too. Just crashed it earlier in the evening. Feel like I belong there. How to say. It's my style. Now I know why Skii crashes there daily. Saw Below Average today. Chatted for quite a long time about random stuff. Really enjoyed it. I guess I just missed the old famaliar feeling of speaking to people of the same frequency.

I MISS JJ!!! And Mel and CR and Sock! And OG 29 and 06S18!

But I can't do it. Everyday I tell myself "No turning back now. This is your life. Accept it. Adapt to it. Take it. And then you will survive." Thankfully it has improved by some amounts today, making my life there more enjoyable than the day before.

RJ pe teeshirt material is lousy. It's like primary school teeshirt material. The type I dislike.

Guess I'm just not suited to be there.